The Dinners for Democracy discussion guides covering each chapter of Ordinary People, Extraordinary Times highlight the main points of the chapter, offer questions for reflection and discussion, and reference actions you can take in your community.

In Chapter 4 of Ordinary People, Extraordinary Times, Democracy Forward CEO Skye Perryman encourages us to “practice tailgate accountability.” Tailgate accountability is “listening to other people who may believe differently than us, accepting our personal responsibility for deescalating polarization, and taking it upon ourselves to hold others in our communities accountable for their contributions” (p. 113). 

Consider where your “tailgates” might be: in what places do you encounter people you enjoy talking with, but who may have different beliefs, values, and experiences than you? Intentionally communicating across all kinds of differences is difficult in a political environment where, “We no longer just disagree with our political opponents; we actively dislike or distrust them. We view our political parties not just as associations of people with common beliefs but as a deeply rooted identity, similar to a sports team” (p. 112). 

This chapter of the book explains why we should challenge hyper-polarization while still maintaining healthy boundaries and holding others and ourselves accountable for our contributions to public discourse. 

Understanding Polarization and Scapegoating

Polarization is the tendency of partisan politics—and/or of contemporary media coverage of partisan politics—to pull people further toward the poles (or, extremes) of a party, agenda, or ideology, increasing the separation between people A common rhetorical tactic used to create or heighten polarization is scapegoating. 

Scapegoating singles out and blames vulnerable groups, including racial or other minorities, for systemic societal problems, giving more powerful majority groups a convenient (often incomplete or altogether false) narrative to rally around. Skye explains: “While effective politicians—from the left and the right—often rely on messaging that identifies problems and solutions, President Trump’s MAGA movement seeks to frame systemic and structural problems, such as job loss and economic downturn, in personal terms, shifting the blame to specific groups of people—especially immigrants and non-whites” (p. 114). The Department of Homeland Security has spent more than $200 million on ads depicting immigrants as a threat to our country. MAGA-aligned campaign ads across the country feature Islamophobic rhetoric and false claims that Sharia law is being implemented in communities. Even though a majority of Americans believe in LGBTQIA+ equality, MAGA campaigns spent millions on ads vilifying trans people. 

One part of practicing tailgate accountability means recognizing when certain groups are being scapegoated, whether or not you are part of that group, and speaking up. With all the money spent on scapegoating vulnerable groups through campaign ads and official government communications, sometimes people in our own circles—friends, families, and folks we meet in our communities—may repeat some of these talking points. Tailgate accountability means finding space to raise objections and look for common ground.

Reducing Polarization through Tailgate Accountability

Another problem with polarization is that it can obscure the reality of significant common ground. Polling suggests Americans are actually more aligned on many issues than we perceive ourselves to be. The majority of Americans support reproductive rights, legal protections and equality for LBGTQIA+ people, universal background checks on firearm sales, pathways to citizenship or permanent legal residency for immigrants, and many other issues that we perceive as divisive. While Americans do have disagreements and differences, the sensationalism of politics and the 24-hour news cycle that feeds off of that sensationalism caricature the distance between most Americans. Skye explains, “The political stage offers a dramatized, hyper-polarized impression of where the people in the country stand on core issues. Such hyping of differences between the constituents of the two political parties prevents progress. The result is that people disengage from politics because they are told that the other side is opposed to everything they believe” (p. 116).

Like most forms of civic engagement, tailgate accountability begins at our front door. Skye writes, “It is easy to hate or generalize about an acronym—but it is hard to hate someone who is your neighbor, your colleague, or your friend” (p. 118). Being active in our communities, getting out of echo chambers, and meeting new people creates possibilities for dialogue. Getting to know people who are different from us often reduces biases. Confronting polarization and scapegoating requires vulnerability and courage in conversation. The following table (taken from p. 124 of the book) includes conversation tips to help you begin or continue practicing tailgate accountability while maintaining boundaries that may be needed for your safety and wellbeing: